


Life on the Run

by theblacklistfan321



Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 07:13:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4512765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theblacklistfan321/pseuds/theblacklistfan321
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Red and Liz struggle to adjust to life on the run together and have to adjust accordingly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Red and Liz had been on the run for six months, and they were starting to step on each other's toes. Because of the close proximity of life on the run, Red and Liz were in each other's company for up to 23 hours a day. Mostly in run down lodges in far-flung places, the two often had to sleep in the same bed, eat together, and sometimes had to go to the bathroom in the grass outside with the other only a few feet away. It was dreadful. Even Red didn't have enough stories to last them all that time, and as a result often chatted incessant nonsense to fill up the silence. Today was one of those times.

'Lizzie, have you noticed how the grass grows much quicker here than at home? It must be the combination of sunlight and rain that affects the blades of grass to grow at a different rate. I know that seems obvious but it's growing so very rapidly! I swear it was half the size yesterday when I stepped out to -'

'Oh for God's sakes Red! Will you please shut up for one minute! I just want to pretend I'm alone and bask in solitude for one moment, if that's too much for you. I don't particularly care about the grass outside, or the slight decibel-level change of the water pressure sound. Alright?' Liz was fed up, which caused her to act crankily.

Red looked shocked and his mouth hung open for a second, before he took on a hurt tone.

'I'll have you know that it's no bed of roses living with you either. Are you aware that you snore in your sleep? You must love making noise, because you also sing loudly in the shower- out of tune may I add. You cannot cook to save your life, you can't bring decent firewood back, and for the love of God if I have to hear you slurp your tea one more time I may just throw the cup against the wall.' Now it was Liz's turn to look shocked. 'But I haven't said anything before,' Red continued, 'because I realise that life on the run, especially after what you've been through, is extremely difficult, and we have to try to find a way to deal with one another if we're going to manage to stay hidden from the FBI. So you're going to sit there and listen to every one of my stories even if you think you can't. And you're going to thank your lucky stars that you've got someone who's willing to talk to you after you killed Connelly. Do I make myself clear?' Liz couldn't believe it. Red had actually just shouted at her. Worse, he had said she snored. She didn't snore, did she? Her cheeks flamed red. She knew she should be grateful that he had ditched everything to protect her, but she had recently felt that everything was so hopeless. All she did all day was play chess, read books, hike, and sleep. And all that was with Reddington. God, she thought, if she felt bad, how must he be feeling? He didn't even have to come with her, yet he did. He gave his life up for her and she was acting like a spoilt child.

'I'm so sorry Red.' She hiccuped, tears starting to form in her eyes. 'I didn't even stop to think about you. And I know I should be grateful, and I am. But it's hard, this life. And usually I'm fine. I don't know, I must be hormonal or something.' She laughed humourlessly. 'I'll be stronger, I promise.'

Red looked slightly ashamed of himself, before walking over to her and enveloping her in a bear hug. 'Don't cry Lizzie, I didn't mean that. I was just feeling a bit snappy. You see? I'm finding it hard too. You know, on my first time on the run, I threw a real tantrum on a train.' Liz laughed,

'I bet you didn't.'

'It's true! I accidentally stubbed my toe and it led to me wailing endlessly about how my life was awful and how I hated myself. This life does that to you. It takes all your energy and leaves you feeling powerless, beyond any control. Your mind doesn't have anything new to focus on and so you're left creating drama just for something to do. But you'll get through it. It's not a question of strength. You don't need to be stronger Lizzie, you're strong enough. No matter how strong you are, everybody finds this life tedious at one point or another.'

Liz breathed in Red's comforting smell deeply, his warmth and the feel of his body were calming her down. 'Thanks Red, for everything. Although what's this about me not being able to collect firewood? You always told me my wood was excellent for a fire.'

Red looked slight sheepish.

'It is Lizzie. Perfect.'

'Red...' Liz said warningly. 'Tell me the truth.' He sighed,

'Well some of it was a bit too damp and small so I had to go and find some more to fill it out a bit.' Liz gasped, pulling back to look him at his face.

'I knew it! I knew that fire had more wood than I'd collected! That's where you went after dinner, wasn't it? I knew you didn't really go and meditate. That story was so fake!' Despite this, Liz had a playful tone and had a smile on her face, which relieved Red.

'I did try to meditate...whilst carrying the wood.' They both laughed. 'Come on, let's go and play chess, you might beat me this time.' Red took her hand and led her to the board, their earlier tiff forgotten.

However, that night Liz made a special effort to stay awake until Red fell asleep, so as not to disturb him with her snoring. She'd known she did it after Tom had complained to her regularly about it, but he'd always managed to prod her and tell her off in the night so he could get to sleep. Liz knew Red would never do that though, he always placed her needs above his own. However, Liz felt bad about earlier and resolved to try and think of him more often, to pay him back slightly for the sacrifice he'd made for her. Unfortunately Red went to bed very late. Liz would always leave him at night to go to sleep and he would stay up until the early hours drinking scotch by the fire. Only occasionally would he wake her up as the bed dipped when he entered. Now Liz was laying awake, her eyes feeling heavier by the minute, waiting for the moment he would come to sleep. Their bed was tiny, but they made sure to put pillows in between them so that neither of them breached the gap between them. They had started to do this after one night in a hostel in Belgium. They had awoken to Liz's head on his chest, their legs entwined, and Red's hand squeezing her behind. This was made much worse by the fact that Liz was woken up to Red sighing her name whilst his hardening erection pressed into her. Liz had been so embarrassed, running off to the bathroom and staying in there for half an hour, making sure she wouldn't have to encounter him as he realised what he'd done. Afterwards they'd never mentioned it but had made the wall of pillows ever since. Liz thought about that morning now, whilst waiting for Red. Surely that meant he was attracted to her, right? But that had been at the beginning of their life on the run, before he had seen her at her worst. Sometimes she'd had no chance to have a shower for days at a time, smelling even to her own nose. She never wore make up, and she knew he'd seen her dribbling in her sleep before. How embarrassing, she thought. But Red always looked handsome, no matter how many days he went without a shower. She thought back to the times he'd had a beard, and how sexy it made him look. Liz bit her lip, was she attracted to Red? No, she thought, she couldn't be. He was simply the only male around at a time when her celibacy was getting to her. That didn't exclude the possibility of her being attracted to him though, she thought. In fact, it made it even more likely. Liz sighed, even if she was attracted to him, he'd never allow anything to happen between them. He was so controlled. He never looked her way when she was getting changed. Hell, sometimes she had worn nothing but a towel in front of him and he had never batted an eyelid, she thought. But then she remembered that morning. He must be a little bit affected by her, she thought, for him to wake up like he had done, with her name on his lips. At that moment, as Liz was biting her lip and blushing slightly, Red opened the door and walked into the room. Liz snapped her eyes shut and waited for him to get in and fall asleep. She was not prepared for him to start undressing, however. She'd just assumed he'd go and undress in the bathroom. As he took of his vest and tie, Liz realised that because the room was so small, and because she couldn't trust herself not to fall asleep if she fully closed her eyes, she had a perfect view of Red undressing. Liz found herself unable to look away as she watched Red meticulously remove all his finery and hang them up neatly on clothes hangers. As he got down to his shirt and underwear, she was nearly straining to see his bare chest. When the shirt was finally removed, she examined his chest keenly and licked her lips. Although not in perfect shape, with a bit of loose flesh at his stomach, he was still attractive to Liz. However, as he turned his back, the low light of the lamp at Red's side of the bed barely made out some scars on his upper back. She frowned slightly, were those...? Yes, they were burn marks. Before Liz got a chance to examine further Red had turned around and was getting into bed, switching the light off as he did so.

That night, Liz stayed awake well past Red. Her brain had kept her up, analysing what those burn scars could mean. Surely this proved for definite that he was there at the night of the fire. She had guessed as much, especially as he knew she had killed her father, but she could never be sure. This was proof though, she was sure of it. Even so, that didn't bother her too much. She had always assumed he was there, and really what difference did it make? The outcome had still been the same. Unless he knew something about her mother...? She sighed. Although she wanted to know more about her past, her present and future were more important to her right now. Red was the only way she was ever going to get a future outside of a jail cell, and so she had to hold off her questions until the time was right. Yes, she decided, she'd only mention them at the right moment.

This moment came two months later, when Red had killed a useless lead rather messily and had had to change, in order for them to leave the building unnoticed. Luckily, he had brought a change of clothes. Liz recognised that Red was trying to hide his back from her, but she knew he thought she'd see them anyway, by his rigid stance as they exited the building. In these past two months, Red and Liz had grown even more comfortable around each other and so when Red commented on how he thought she had dealt with the knowledge that she'd killed her father later on, she spotted her chance. He'd told her that she'd dealt with it,

'Remarkably, considering. I really thought you'd be more affected by it.'

Liz spotted her chance and said, 'Well I was only little and I did spend the rest of my life unable to remember it, so I guess I've become detached to it. I'm curious, sure, but I think it's only because I have nothing else in my life and I'm hoping it will... I don't know, fill some void.' Emotional manipulation might work, she thought. Red's expression softened slightly.

'Oh Lizzie. You have me. I'm in your life. And right now, clearing your name is something in your life to focus on. You must understand that remembering would put you in danger.' Liz was confused,

'But I thought the only danger was me finding out I'd killed my father?' Red chuckled at that and looked at her as if she was a bit slow, which stung her a bit.

'Sweetheart. That wasn't the danger I was referring to. The only reason I wouldn't tell you that was because I wanted to spare your pain. The danger comes from finding out about your mother. She was the reason why the fire started that night. She brought that danger upon you. Danger from bad people, Lizzie, who still to this day are searching for you. There's no way I'm going to tell you now.' Liz thought about it, and decided then not to mention his scars. What good would it do? He obviously wasn't going to tell her anything, and she'd always really known he was there that night. No, she thought, it wasn't worth the argument. Liz was finally seeing how much Red had done for her and was still doing for her, and decided to spare him the grief. Their lives were difficult enough already.

A month later Red and Liz found themselves in Thailand, staying in a small hotel where they had to pretend to be man and wife, the staff's values being that traditional. It wasn't safe enough for Liz to have her own room, so here they were holding hands and smiling at each other affectionately every time they went to the lobby. Liz found this ironic because Red had recently been withdrawn from her. He'd often been finding little excuses now that they were in busier places to leave her for a few hours every day. His demeanour had changed. He was now more serious, rarely smiling at her, rarely joking. Now that Dembe had joined them once again Red was constantly palming her off on to him, and he seemed to be going to bed even later and getting up earlier than ever. It hurt, she realised, that their easy relationship had disappeared, and was now replaced by total seriousness. She knew he was busy with his business, as well as keeping them safe, but he could at least talk to her once in a while, couldn't he? Liz hated the fact that she was craving his attention, feeling like a silly schoolgirl, but that was the effect he had on her.

A few days later, when Red left her wearing his best cologne and a very fine suit, and Dembe was for once no-where to be found, Liz was bored and decided to follow him. At first she only intended to follow him to the door, but when she saw him enter a classy bar she decided to enter, curious as to why Red would be having a drink here and why he hadn't invited her. Following a few minutes behind him, making sure she was behind a large group of people, Liz entered the room and immediately spotted Red sat at the bar... With a woman. Liz's eyes widened as she found a seat at the back of the room where she could watch them undetected. The woman was beautiful and sophisticated, one glance told Liz that. Red leaned into her and whispered something into her ear, which caused her to laugh and place her hand on his knee. Liz sucked in a breath, a strange feeling taking hold of her. This woman was perfect, she thought, more worthy of Red than she could ever be. Liz had never before bothered about looks and their effects on men, she could never care less about how a men saw her. But with Red it was different, it always was. This woman was more his age, maybe that was what he wanted, someone mature enough for him. Maybe she was too childish for him? She cringed as she remembered how she's cried in front of him, throwing tantrum after tantrum. God, he must have been so fed up with her! Liz felt shame rise up in her belly, before she checked herself. What was she doing? In just a few minutes she'd managed to make herself feel worthless, something that she hated. Liz had always prioritised self-love, and she wasn't about to let Reddington and his damn girlfriend take that away from her. Huffing slightly, just as a waiter started to approach her table she fled the place and marched back towards the hotel.

Red had known Liz had been following him since he left the hotel. He chuckled to himself as he walked down the busy streets, did she really not realise how important she was to him? He would have been able to spot her in an arena full of people. For the most part he just ignored her though, not wanting his meeting to be delayed. After ringing Dembe and telling him to stop the search party for her- she was with him, he strolled into the bar to meet one of his greatest contacts, Susanne Holt. He and Susanne had been allies for many years, using their talents to help each other's businesses thrive. Now, Susanne would be able to help him escape to an island with Lizzie. Somewhere where they could just relax and enjoy each other's company. Susanne was currently in possession of this island, somewhere off the grid to the FBI. All he needed to do was persuade her to let him borrow it. It was true they had been intimate in the past, and although he had no intention of sleeping with her, he knew a little flirtation would go a long way. Half way through his meeting he looked around the room for Liz and, not seeing her in the spot she was in when she entered, he went to the bathroom to phone Dembe.

'She is here, my friend. In the hotel bar. Don't worry, I've got my eye on her, she is quite safe.' Reassured, Red went back to Susanne, thinking no more of it.

Three hours later Red arrived back to the hotel room only to find it empty. Scowling, Red realised that Lizzie must still be at the bar, which he hated. It was 1 in the morning, for Christ's sake! What the hell was she doing spending her time in a sketchy bar? When Red went downstairs, however, he found out. There was his Lizzie, hanging off the arm of a young hotel worker who'd obviously found his lucky day with Lizzie, who was quite inebriated, leaning in so very close to him. Red's hands clenched and his heartbeat sped up. What was his Lizzie doing with another man? He hated the sight, she looked to be having such a good time, more so than she'd ever had with him. It should be him she was drinking with, whispering with, and God, did she just bite his ear?! That should be him! Somehow he managed to find his way to Dembe's table, hearing his brother laugh at him.

'Raymond, she is free to do as she pleases.'

Red growled, 'I know that. But I wish it were me she did it with.'

Dembe just smirked and looked away, leaving Red to fix his stony gaze on the two. When Liz started to make out with the hotel worker, and his hand started squeezing her ass, Red leapt up from the table and marched over to them. Enough was enough, he decided.

'Elizabeth!' He snapped, loud enough for the couple to break apart, surprised at the interruption.

'Red? What are you doing here?' Liz looked confused for a moment, before her expression quickly turned to one of anger.

'Coming to take you back to the room. You've stayed up quite long enough.' Red grabbed her upper arm and was just starting to drag her away from the man when she furiously stomped on his foot.

'Ow!' Red shouted, more out of infuriation than pain. 'Why did you just do that?'

Liz tilted her chin and clenched her jaw defiantly. 'Because you were being a jack ass! I am going to stay right here with Anton and you know what? I may even invite him back to our room, or maybe I'll just go to a bathroom stall with him. Whichever I feel like.'

Red couldn't believe it. Go to a bathroom stall? Never would he allow such a thing. Luckily, he quickly assessed that Lizzie was rather drunk, causing her to slur her words a bit and as he watched her down her drink he knew he wouldn't have much resistance if he really tried to take her back to the room, especially as he glimpsed Anton slowly backing away from them. He must have thought Liz was in a single room, and now he obviously realised they were married. This meant that Anton's strict values forced him to leave, no matter how disappointed he looked. Liz eventually noticed this and huffed.

'Now look what you've done!' She started to order another drink from the wide-eyed bartender when Red's hand closed around her wrist. Spinning around and glaring at him, Liz started to pull her arm away, but Red rather forcefully lead her to the elevators. He was right, with the state she was in she was starting to sway, looking at the floor and blinking repeatedly. When they finally reached their room, with Dembe entering the room next door, Red led Liz to the bed. As she stood there, swaying lightly on her feet, he gently pulled back the covers for her to climb in to and he propped up the covers. Liz fell straight asleep as soon as she got in whilst Red looked down on her and sighed. It had hurt him deeply, seeing her with another man. A man who was younger, someone closer to who Liz should be with. A part of him had hoped that she'd started to care for him whilst they'd been together, but he knew it was just wishful thinking, he would never be so lucky. Red lightly placed a kiss on her head before resting on the other side of the bed, preparing to be there for her if she was sick in the night.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning Liz woke up to a pounding headache and groaned. What exactly had happened the night before? She wasn't sure, but she remembered Red being very angry with her, and there was a guy involved somehow. As she tried to piece the night together in her mind Red entered the room, carrying a breakfast tray.

'Morning sweetheart.' Red chirped, looking extremely satisfied with himself.

'Christ Red, do you have to be so loud?' Liz squinted around the room, trying to obtain colour into her vision.

Red chuckled, 'Watch your language. I'm here to see how you're feeling.' He set the tray on the bedside table and sat on the end of the bed. Liz slowly sat up and sipped her coffee.

'Rough, is how I feel. And embarrassed, even if I can only remember parts of last night.'

Red's face darkened a shade for a second, before it went back to normal as he studied her intently.

'Lizzie, I don't have to tell you how dangerous you're actions were last night, or do I? I thought you were smart enough to figure that out.' Liz winced, that was a low blow. He knew that it was important to her to prove that she was smart enough to be a successful criminal. Red carried on. 'Now thanks to you we're going to have to leave Thailand today. After the scene you caused everyone will remember our faces now.' He looked at her with a disappointed look on his face, but he had misjudged just how much she remembered. Liz's blood started to boil as she said,

'Just hold on there for a second. You were the one who caused a scene, walking up to me like that and shouting at me.' Her eyes were bright with anger and she had put down the mug, gearing up for a fight. Red retaliated, just as angry as she was,

'I had to do that in order to stop you from giving yourself away to a random stranger in the bar. He could have hurt you! Didn't you think of that?' Liz had touched a nerve by blaming him because he knew deep down that he had over-reacted to the situation. He had just felt so damn jealous and possessive, both of which he hated.

'He was a hotel worker and I know full well that you check out all the staff fully before you stay anywhere. That man was completely safe. And who said anything about giving myself away to him? I'd only just met the man!' Both Red and Liz were furious now, their breaths heaving and their body language tense and geared up for a fight. Red scoffed,

'Oh I'm sorry. Did you or did you not mention taking him to a bathroom stall?'

'That was only because you'd made me angry! I was proving to you that I was free to make my own choices and you cannot just storm over to me and push me around. Period.'

Red was speechless for a second, due to the fact that she'd made a valid point. He sighed, getting up to leave the room and trying to calm himself down.

'We're leaving in an hour. You'll be ready to leave by then. That's not me pushing you around, that's me stating my schedule, the one in which you have to be dependent on if you want to stay out of jail.' Liz glared at him as he left, damn that man. This was all his fault. Him and that woman! As she started to get up and dressed she realised how her jealousy had caused her to act as she had done. Had she known Red would come and look for her when he got back? Maybe. And she'd just wanted him to see that other men found her attractive, and that she wasn't dependant on him for company. Yeah sure, she admitted to herself, she had wanted to bring his attention back to her. Jealousy was a base emotion indeed, Red, and didn't she know it.

Exactly one hour later, Liz emerged from the bedroom fully dressed, packed and ready to go. Red was nowhere to be found, however. When she asked after his whereabouts Dembe informed her that he had gone on ahead, and that they would meet him on his jet. Liz was confused but followed Dembe to the car. When they arrived at the jet and Liz was led onboard, Red was still not there. This time, however, Dembe said nothing and just left her to entertain herself. A good half hour later the jet took off and Liz was furious, thinking he'd left her and was sending her away from him. Had she embarrassed him that much? What she was not prepared for, however, was for him to come out of the jet's bedroom about a quarter of the way through the flight. He didn't just come out alone, though, the woman from last night was following right behind him. Red said nothing, ignoring Liz's murderous gaze, but poured two drinks and sat across from Liz, with the woman sat next to him. Nobody spoke for a few tense seconds, Liz was too busy imagining killing Red and he was too busy pointedly ignoring her. Susanne, on the other hand, could stand it no longer. Reaching out a hand to Liz she introduced herself.

'Susanne Holt. Pleased to meet you Ms. Keen.'

Elizabeth just turned her angry gaze on her, making Susanne laugh lightly.

'Oh don't worry, at the moment me and Raymond are just arranging business. You're free to have him for now.'

Liz, partly relieved that they hadn't just been having sex but angry at the 'for now' Susanne had used, looked over at Red.

'Well I don't want him, so you may as well just go back to the bedroom.' When Red looked up from his papers sharply and snapped,

'Elizabeth!', Liz knew she may have gone too far. Not taking his eyes off Liz, Red said, 'Susanne, you wouldn't mind joining Dembe for a moment, would you?' When she left the room Red's voice took on a cool tone and his face was impassive, letting Liz know he was furious with her.

'That woman that you just insulted was our biggest hope of staying in an island for the immediate future. No more constantly moving, no more cramped spaces, no more aliases. Just you and me living out our days in paradise, free to spend the time however we like. I know how much you hate life on the run and I worked very hard to make you more comfortable. You, however, may have just ruined that. You need to stop acting like a petulant little child and apologise to Susanne. Otherwise, it will be back to little shacks in Holland for you. Do I make myself clear?' Liz was stunned at this, and also trying hard not to cry. He had just managed to make her feel like shit and combined with the extreme jealously she was feeling, her emotions were starting to have an effect on her. Picking herself up, she went to find Susanne and after she'd muttered a half-hearted apology to the woman she locked herself in the bathroom and began to sob. Big, heaving sobs left her body as she wallowed in the hopelessness of the situation. She was running from the FBI, she had no job, no friends, and the man she loved seemed determined to push her away and treat her like dirt. Wait, she thought, did she love Red? After considering it for a few moments, she had to admit that she did. She'd known she cared about him, was attracted to him, and now the thought of him leaving her made her ache in her chest. She wanted him to love her back so badly. She wanted to discover his body, wanted to make love to him, wanted to live with him as she had been doing for the past few months, but this time knowing that the man she was living with loved her. Although they had been getting closer, their interactions had been peppered with awkwardness and Red had insisted that they keep a wall between them, much like their wall of pillows at night. Liz realised that she wanted this wall to fall down. Liz realised that she wanted her and Red to stop arguing, stop picking at each other. At this point Liz didn't know what to do with her new found feelings for Red, and was just starting to try and decide how to behave around him when there was a knock on the bathroom door. Liz straightened herself up, opened it, and greeted by the man himself wearing an unsure look on his face. When he noticed her tear-stained cheeks, his face broke for a second and a look of utter despair came over his features.

'I'm sorry Lizzie. For everything. God, even I know I've been acting like a jerk. I shouldn't have lashed out at you last night and I shouldn't have tried to get back at you by flaunting Susanne in your face, it was mean of me.'

'Then why did you do it?' Liz retorted.

Red braced himself for what was to come before saying, 'I was angry that you kissed Anton. A little bit jealous probably, as much as I hate to admit it.'

Liz looked up at him hopefully, if he was jealous, did that mean he wanted to be with her? She didn't know whether she dared to ask, but thought that she may as well, seen as she didn't have anything to lose. 'Does that mean you want me?'

'Lizzie, I care about you very much, but I would never ask that of you. I wouldn't burden you by confessing feelings that you won't reciprocate. I'm sorry I was mean to you, and I promise I won't let my feelings stand in the way of our friendship again. When we get to the island, I promise I'll try my best to make you're life as happy and care-free as possible.' Red tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear gently before turning to walk back to his seat. Liz stopped him, though, by taking his hand in hers.

'Red, you idiot. What makes you think I could never reciprocate your feelings? I love you Red. And the only way you can make sure I live out my days happy is if you give yourself to me. I want to be with you, more than anything. That's why I was with Anton that night. I was foolishly trying to get back at you for being with Susanne in the bar. Will you please consider being romantically involved with me? I promise I'll try to make it worth your while...' She purred, trying to tempt him into agreeing with her. Red, however, was still a bit spellbound by the fact that she'd said she loved him. He watched her intently for a few seconds, thanking his lucky stars that she wanted what he'd never dared hope would come true. Walking closer to her, he kissed her lightly, until she responded in full by opening her mouth for him. After revelling in the bliss that was kissing Lizzie, he pulled away. Taking her face in his hands he whispered, rather hoarsely,

'You said you'd make it worth my while?' Liz laughed, taking him into the bedroom as she did so.


End file.
